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Saturday, May 9, 2009

Marrying a Korean woman

Although there are exceptions, marrying a Korean woman can be one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make.
This usually refers to Korean women with very little actual exposure to western culture... i.e. the Korean women who are very Korean in terms of culture and upbringing. So in a way, it's not about race as it is about Korean culture.
This doesn't mean Korean-American women (aka Gyopos) are safe. Actually those are a completely different bag of worms which I won't cover in this posting.

The sales pitch: Korean women are kind, warm, submissive and loving.
The truth: Korean women will be kind, warm, submissive and loving until they tie the knot. Then they become cold, dominant (especially with money) and will take orders directly from their mothers when it comes to family policy.

Women are hard to understand, but Korean women are even harder. However, it's not impossible and this one post will bring to light many things that a foreigner usually has little or no way of figuring out.
Check this out for starters. A Korean woman in her 20's is usually overly kind to white men but will be openly hostile and inconsiderate against Korean males (even if the Korean dudes are kind) and will go head over heels for white men but will still go on that anti-American demonstration rally the coming weekend and go all nationalistic for a night or two before grovelling and courting white dudes at their feet the very next day.
Make sense?

Weekend America hater

So why do things work this way?
It's because they see white men as the masters of the world and feel the need to associate with those people to "raise" themselves on the social ladder. There is probably some element of truth to this but here in lies the danger. They don't marry a white man because he is a great guy or anything, but simply because he is white (and not a total train wreck. Face it, Korean women aren't going to marry a white guy if he's got no money).

The whole act of being submissive, kind, shy etc. is pretty much a ploy as it always has been to grab the man they wish to marry. Don't fall for this bullshit. Think of this as the free download demo version. When you marry (make the purchase), the real product installs and the whole picture changes.


How does it look after marriage?
- She takes control of the money.
- You realize that you can't hold a single interesting conversation with her.
- She actually doesn't like sex.
- She doesn't love you for who you are, but will make sure that you become what she expects you to be. Pressure, pressure, pressure. You are now her cow and she wants to see that milk flow.
- She takes orders from her mother. There is no escape.
- It will be like she just aged another 15 years after the honeymoon.


Surefire signs that you've got the wrong person.
- She plays musical instruments quite avidly.
- She puts on a lot of makeup.
- She is anorexic.
- She's an artist (RED ALERT).
All of these she will use to lure the unsuspecting foreign dude. It's a trap!

If she makes one of these for you, kick her out. IMMEDIATELY.

Signs of hope.
- She plays sports.
- Has travelled a lot (without Ramen supplies) and is worldly.
- Can hold a good conversation.
- Isn't too close to her mother.
- Doesn't give to squirts a piss about nationalism.
- She makes just as much, if not more money than you.

This is the actual number of Korean women on earth that can hold an interesting conversation.

The rumors and misconceptions regarding how great Korean women are is complete and dangerous bullshit. Don't fall for the cute shit. Swear to God... it's going to fuck up your life.

The Demo: Sweet, submissive, caring.
Release version: Dominant, cold and basically a Trojan Horse with her mother calling the shots (and stealing your money).


  1. Love this blog! You're a really funny writer!!!

    aside from living in korea how do you know so much about koreans? Were you ever married with one?

    I dated 2 and oh man It was an insanley horrible experiance. Ive had the Demo verions and after 4 months the Retail version comes at full force.

  2. Oh that's kind of funny that you're writing about a stereotype. :) and a mostly true one on the accounts of the whole white-rich thing.

    I'll disagree with you on their personalities. Sounds like you've had it tough with Korean ladies, but they're not all like that. The few who are give a bad name to Koreans.

    Just thought you'd like to know.

  3. You are an idiot. You blindly condemn a whole race of women because you had a bad experience. I have been married to a Korean woman for the last 10 years. Yes we have differences, but she has supported and loved me from the start. You are a closed minded jerk and should not be allowed to write on a piece of paper nevermind the internet.

  4. Awesome. I just googled "Marrying a Korean Woman" and this popped up, and I'm psyched to be checking it out. I've been dating a Korean girl for a couple months now and she's been fantastic, but she's definitely not your average Korean woman (with which I had a little experience and varying degrees of understanding). It's important to get a lot of opinions on things, and this is great!

  5. I agree man, and its funny to read

  6. Dude the before and after was funny really but seriously, I pay attention to some signs too like...
    1. If she is active. Inactive people are less likely to have a healthy sex life after marriage.
    2. Isn't an airhead and has major goals at life, dreams and a lot of energy (like me).
    3. Makes her own money and understands how to manage it and grow rich at life on her own, is also careful with money.
    4. If she isn't a blind nationalist (that sucks) and likes other cultures too. I'm a very worldly person and in my heart the world is my home, every place I go has something I like and dislike and I expect my gf to be open like that too.

    Anyway I don't intend to marry anytime soon since I'm quite young but honestly I think you met the wrong woman. I bet if I google around I'll hear worse stories from American guys who married the typical American woman.
    We men have to keep in mind this kind of bossy/trash woman is everywhere in any race and we must be careful when choosing a partner whether in US or Korea.

    The bottom line is: For a good relationship you must know each other very well.

  7. Boy that was scary reading this. And christopher why so serious? maybe a bit defencive? :) I have had a Korean girlfriend for 2 years and there are certainly a few issues. The overlord' mom, prominent role of other family members e.g. uncles i've known for 30 seconds asking me when im going to marry her (glaring at me angrily while they do ask), and sometimes an indifference to sex. The scary thing is while the disinterest in sex maybe a korean/japanese thing, I wonder how much of this is is somewhat universal? But too many guys arent going to admit that their partners are like this. Question whats the alternative? I do admit that I've met a japanese girl that admitted to never having seen a penis! Oh she had sex a number of times but it was always dark when that happened!! I think korea/japan has created a kind of girl/mother system. Whereby females there are innocent obedient little girls until they get married when they then become mothers. The whole "im an independent sex driven career woman who can choose my own man with a sense of humour and good personality" is kind of a western thing. Its up and down and ill see what happens, Im suppose i'm not perfect either !

  8. Actually this was written up as a collection of various horror stories I am familiar with.
    Glad you guys enjoyed it.
    I think it's somewhat similar in any cross cultural relationship or marriage. You miss a lot of warning signs because you dismiss it as a "cultural difference."

  9. yea, there is no question he is hurt. almost feel like posting the same crap about Thai women.

    I have to weigh the good with the bad, and yes my marriage of eight years to an incredibly beautiful Thai woman ended with a lot of frustration and hurt.

    I am 48 and she was 30 so, maybe I should be thankful. I now realize how much the mother has influenced the ex's psyche. Good and bad, mostly bad. For Asian women apparently the mother is extremely important. But don't forget we ALL go through a rebel phase.

    My opinion about women? Too many questions, not enough answers. uhh, and to you Asian women reading this ... HONEST answers.

  10. Man, sorry to hear all of that.
    Stay strong.

  11. I am from South Korea. I lived about seven years in US. I cannot agree everything he said. But I am very certain that his own money or reliable job is very important factor for most of Korean female. Not all Korean females, I would say more than 80% of them. At the same time, they want to have romantic relationship with guys. If they do not marry you, it is not because you are a white or black. Most likely, it is because she doesn't think that you will take responsibility until she dies.
    This Korean female's usual attitude drives me crazy. I think Korean girls are most beautiful and attractive to me. But I do not like to marry them because I know that she will take advantage of marriage contract other than taking responsibility of trying to take care of me.
    I am 36 years old. I've never been marry. I wish I could meet someone from abroad. Just have fun with Korean girls. But try to avoid into a serious relationship. There is a big change of ruining your life as my father's age had experienced. It has been only worse and worse in my sense. It is not because you are a white. Korean guys know better how to avoid and be very patient when wives' crazy temper.

    Let me tell you a story about a 35 years old lady. She left her husband a month after he lost his job. And she want to divorce since she has to work harder to feed the husband. She is my very close relative. I guess she never loved him or she is so clever.

  12. Well, I hope you meet a good Korean woman who will change your stereotype. There are lots of Korean women who actually will care about you.

  13. actually does it true that man is hardly to find a good korean lady to be as her husband?

  14. You are some stump-jumper nobody ! Who do you think will talk to you ? Prostitutes of course !

    I am from Los Angeles and know plenty of Korean women . I can tell you that I have seen the ones in which the mother guides them on who to date and so on , but this is actually true of MOST ASIAN CHICKS especially NON CHRISTIAN women.You have to be smart enough to know the difference and one BIG THING ASIAN WOMEN seek is a big dick because most Asian Guys are hung like mice . Something to think about when you have sons with her.

    I have found Vietnamese women to be cold at first as well because of their treatment by our troops during the war , but if you get to know one you will have half the hotties in her click jumping your bones especially her family like sisters and mother and close neighbors.

    Upper Class Chinese girls in L.A. tell you strait up things like : What car do you Drive ? Do you go to Pepperdine ? If not or if you don't drive a new BMW you are a loser , slime , etc.

    Treat a hooker like a hooker and a lady like a lady or didn't yo' mama teach you that ?

  15. This article is quite true...
    Good friends of couple korean ladies and the mindset of them looking at other men are: MONEY, HANDsOME, TALL etc...

  16. GREAT POST!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see more!

  17. I agree. I also must add Korean girls SOME are VERY possesive and have a tendency of being jealous of other girls.

    I remeber once i dated a Korean guy in freshamn college and his friends don't even talk to me because i was Chinese and not korean.

  18. @Jeffrey, wow generlize much? I'm a Chinese American and I can tell you that you are only applying to SOME of the Chinese not the whole population!

    Some Chinese girls here in the U.S. study to get Masters or PH.D do something for themselves to become rich and indenpendent and NOt rellying on rich man. Check your facts before you start hatin'!

  19. LOL. I just read this. I'm a 20 yr-old girl from South Korea, HAHAHA I find this blog very hilarious BECAUSE there is some truth to it HAHAHA. A little overly exaggerated, but dude, seriously be on the look-out for those type of women :)! They actually do exist! Be wise and pray that you don't get caught in a death-trap with a woman like that =) But yeah dude, I don't know if you're just trying to be really funny by onlyyy blogging about the negatives. I'm pretty sure there are some positives to it ;) and hey, if you're one of the lucky few who have survived those crazy women, then be proud that you've lived to tell the tale.. all over the internet.. lol :)) But as with every tale, I believe there's a method that is wiser than most. Well, thanks for this though, I got a good laugh out of it. :D!

  20. I totally agree to everything you have written. But I also wanna add some facts about Koreans. I worked with Koreans for 4 years to know some of their bad attitudes. Not to mention, my husband's exwife is a Korean and she really is one hell of a bitch. Koreans believe that they are better than other races. They STRONGLY believe that they are way moe than intelligent and wise than others which in fact 90% of them dont speak English! They also have this attitude thatif you look ugly, you are bad person. What the hell? Most of them look mongoloids!

    They never consider a female child significant that's why girls tend to be very manipulative if they get married especially with foreigners. EVERYTHING FOR KOREANS IS MONEY. They don't appreciate good work so if you are an employee of a Korean, don't expect to get extra salary or a commission for a job well done.

    Lastly, Koreans are very very very violent! So dont be surprised if she/he will hit youur child with a belt or a stick! Just call 911. lol

  21. I've lived in Korea for years (im american) I've dated multiple Korean girls and I agree 100% with this article. All Korean girls seem to be so nice and caring untill they realize you dont make 100k a year. And even if you did they would be pissed that its 100k and not 200k. Also Korean women are insanely superficial. I've seen the fattest ugliest Korean girls state that they wont date a guy unless hes "180cm (6foot), had wide shoulders, High position in a good company, nice car, etc etc." If you ask any Korean girl what her "ideal type" is. 99% of the time they wont mention personality, interests, or goals. There are good Korean women out there. The trouble is grinding out the shitty ones untill you find that rose in a weed's nest. I advise against Anyone out there wanting to date a typical Korean girl. But if you do, good luck!

    1. How is she supposed to like you when you white man in Korea don't make more than $2000 a month teaching english??? Looosers!! :D

  22. So the author of this article is disappointed because he thought Korean women will be obedient and submissive will open their legs whenever he asks and will bring money home... :D

  23. I'm married to a Korean woman (from Korea and an artist) and I think that the type of woman you described can be found pretty much everywhere. I dated plenty of women in lots of different countries. Avoiding the creepy ones isn't difficult if you keep your eyes open. To Be fair, I was lucky enough to meet my wife and live with her while taking a class in California (my reason for going to Korea)

    The problem I saw with most foreigners over in Korea when I taught there, is that they had severe social problems. Most of them were astounded that someone hot would go out with the likes of them and someone would actually get close enough to talk with them and show them the ropes in Korea. I've seen all kinds of girls hoodwink guys in Korea even women who are worldly, smart, well traveled, have careers, and are highly social (especially the highly social/rich ones). Most of the women you describe are domineering before marriage too, but most guys who are over there have low self esteem and dont usually confront their girlfriends. They coddle them like they are queens, this is a bad choice anyway. A pretty good test for any bride to be is to try crossing them on a trivial issue (like the cost of the wedding or something like "Why does your mom feed me so damn much?" etc.). If you can live with the results of the following argument (or even better there is no serious argument) then you have a keeper.

    All Korean women are close to their moms (and siblings) it's a cultural thing and it's something you like or you don't. I personally like it. I would highly recommend that anyone dating a Korean woman get into the habit of hanging out with her family a lot before marriage. Guys I have seen do this almost never have problems. Especially if the parents already know where you're trying to go in life. If they agree with your positions before marriage most likely they will fully support you after marriage. But again, this is true for ANY inlaw situation.

    Some caveats... 1. If she has never left Korea make sure she travels with you to your home country once or twice. 2. If she has only lived in Korea and doesn't talk about living in the U.S., expect to live in Korea.

  24. well everything is not as it seems. i arrived in korea in 1969, i met my wife in seoul, she did not speak a single word of english, had never been out of the country, and still thought that the stories she had heard about us americans eating little children after cooking them for lunch was true or not. but i pursued, something told me this was the one. her father and her brothers were always giving me the the evil eye and making wise ass remarks until her oldest brother, the defender of the family honor and all that, got in my face one day and i proceeded to beat his ass bad enough that it took him a week to get out of bed. didn't make em' my friends but they learned not to talk shit either. my wife is a good looking woman, still is. when we met at 22 yrs old i was fat,bald and ugly, and didn't have a lot of money. a few things have changed, now i am OLD, fat,bald and uglier, and i am missing 1 leg below the knee, and the toes on my other foot and my kidneys have failed and i have more scars on me than frankensteins monster. she's still here. so don't believe the b/s, look out for your own best interest, and cross your fingers. maybe you will be as fortunate as i am. oh by the way her parents came to live with us here in the states, and her mother almost always took my side.

  25. So I will not be able to get married.

    Let me introduce some foreign girl...

  26. This is for bullshit buster. I have been married to my wife- a South Korean for 30 amazing years now. We have been thru hell and back together. We had lots of learning and growing to do. If you are actually a man, and can stand up for a Korean woman, she will treat you as a king. I lived in Korea for 15 years or more. You sound like someone who may have either visited Korea or were stationed there but never really left the area to venture out. Korea and Korean people are beautiful and amazing. They will always have open arms for American people. Before you trash the Korean woman, next time, please do your homework...

  27. Pretty funny, but untrue blog post.

    It's not fair to tar every women with the same brush because of a one (or even a few) bad experience(s).

  28. There is another country to take note of that is Vietnam. I have just come out of a relationship with one and it was horrible she lied constantly demanded money on a monthly basis and tried to turn my friends against me . I really feel that there should be website that is promoted to warn people the dangers involved in foreign spouses.

  29. Yeah. Wish I would have read your post in 1987 when I married my yanggogju out of Toko-Ri (Gwangam-dong). She was really submissive at first when I ETS'd and took her home to meet my family. With her middle school education and camp town vocabulary it made for some embarrassing faux pas on her part. She stopped being submissive when I was going to college on the VEAP Program and had to work at McDonald's to help pay the rent. After a day of cleaning restrooms and flipping burgers she had the NERVE to tell me she was too tired for my amorous attentions.Then she started 'controlling' the money by saying we needed a new mattress for our bed instead of that new 12 gauge shotgun I NEEDED for deer hunting. She's been like that ever since, saying stuff like the kids need braces instead of a US needing a new plasma TV. What a total bitch!

    I imagine I should be P.O.'d at the piece of garbage from her village in Gyeongsan who raped her when she was watching over her families cows. She told her parents and they confronted him, her older brother even got his ass kicked defending her honor, but after that she was 'tainted' for not defending her honor well enough so she became one of the Korean women who 'choose to be prostitutes' at 21.